Chandelicious!!!

Just found a great home decor site, 2Jane. This baroque-esq print actually comes with a built in light behind it to illuminate the sides and the "lights" of the chandelier. A little pricey at 395.00 but the site also has some great sale items! 

Ummm...there's a cucumber floating in my drink.

Beautiful people, high ceilings, pretentious house music...the sights and sounds of a New York City disco somewhere above Bowery and below 40th. Amidst a sea of crowded socialites there I stand, parched, awkward, drifting back and forth to the "fresh" sounds of a pay-by-hour D.J. jamming to the groove of his iTunes induced beat. The revolution is no where in sight. I say hi to a lanky girl standing by me. She points to my earbuds still in my ears and comments saying "Wow, you're really good at doing two things at once." I laugh quietly because actually I am doing three things because I am also charming her. A waitress passes next to me, "Excuse me...", she's gone. A busboy shuffles by, " Um sir I...", he disappears into the small cubby's created by the twists and turns of Gucci wrapped thighs. I stumble to the bar, all the while stepping on the feet of wafey white folk with shoe budgets larger than that of this party-obviously. A thin, pierced hipster stands waiting with her head cocked and eyes fixed in the permanent position of "rolled". " Can I have a...", she starts to pour. "Here", she says, "you'll like it", in a tone that suggests I WILL like it...or else. She hands me the glass and I nod, " Yeah, I was gonna order that anyway." With as much coolness as I can muster up, I peek down to see just exactly what concoction she concocted. A chilled pool of amber colored gin is glistening in the light and splashing down over the sides of the glass. I drink it all - down in one gulp. And then start to cough, violently, but it's not the booze - no, no my friends I can handle my booze- it's that I'm choking, actually choking on something...something round? Something hard? Daikon? Is this Daikon? A lone cucumber slice stares back at me from the murky mixture. So this is what New York has come to......fine all right, I'm in.

COCKTAIL #1
ingredients
One 3-inch piece of cucumber—peeled, seeded and diced, plus 1 cucumber wheel
1/2 ounce rose syrup (try the MONIN brand or just substitute simple syrup)
Ice
1 1/2 ounces gin
1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
1 ounce chilled club soda

directions
In a cocktail shaker, muddle the diced cucumber with the rose syrup. Add ice
and the gin and lime juice. Shake well; strain into an ice-filled highball
glass. Stir in the club soda; garnish with the cucumber wheel.


COCKTAIL #2
ingredients
One 2-inch piece of seedless cucumber, plus 1 cucumber slice for garnish
5 mint leaves
Ice
1 1/2 ounces gin
4 to 5 ounces chilled tonic water

directions
In a highball glass, muddle the piece of cucumber with the mint leaves. Fill
the glass with ice, add the gin and top with the tonic water. Stir gently
and garnish with the cucumber slice.

BEST QUICK FIX

The new dark brown SÄTER sofa from IKEA. Three reasons to buy: 1. It comes in chocolate. 2. It seats 2.5 people (so it's great for those conjoined twins) and 3. its freakin' $399. Oh, and it looks like something Bo Concept would spit out for $999. I had the pleasure of sitting on it in the store and I must say it is a bargain. No, the cushions aren't as deep as some might like, but the straight lines give it the modern touch.

IKEA summer collection

Did New York skip spring and summer and just jump right back into winter? Feels like it. Well, IKEA is reminding you that summer is just around the corner (hopefully). They have a gaggle (yes, that's a real word) of new outdoor chotchke's for the one person in Manhattan who owns a yard. Still, those picnic blankets and brightly colored freezer bags will come in handy for movie night in Bryant Park!!! Also check out the outdoor light sticks that run 20,000 hours on solar energy! Transformer included.

Totally floored!

IKEA's new laminated TUNDRA floors make me want to jump up and down for joy!!! The click-lock function floor panels come in 25.726 sq. feet for only $30.61!!!! Ikea also has a great floor laying warranty - if for any reason you have a problem laying the floor, return it to IKEA for a full refund. The floor can be laid on existing floor (just not thick wall-to-wall carpet) and is surface treated for easy cleaning. How hot would this look in my new room?! Keep dreaming, Ty.

Top Songs You Need On Your iPod Right Now #2

This week I dedicate my Top 10 Songs to those songs that you use to underscore your day. You know you all do it; picking the right song to underscore the mood you’re experiencing like some horrible episode of Dawson’s Creek. While this list is a bit ‘Actor-Living-In-Queens-centric’, it’s still enjoyable. And hell, isn’t everyone an actor living in Queens anyway?

BEST ‘END OF A LONG WORK DAY’ SONG:

Fiore De La Citta – Seu Jorge

Cru

After finishing an obnoxiously long Catering gig, fight rush hour foot and rail traffic and fumbling to open that pesky top lock on your apartment door, there is nothing like Seu Jorge to mellow you out. First noticed as the guy who accompanied the soundtrack to ‘The Life Aquatic’, his personal CD is a gem.

BEST ‘POST SHITTY AUDITION’ SONG:

‘Honest Music’ – Nico Muhly

Speaks Volumes

So you didn’t book the next big Broadway show, or hell, you didn’t even get seen for the next big Broadway show, it’s quite alright. Mr. Muhly, a classically trained pianist from Juilliard, not only will underscore your inner turmoil but he might even give you élan for your next audition. P.S. This guy is the real deal.

BEST ‘CHECKING YOURSELF OUT IN THE MIRROR BEFORE YOU GO OUT’ SONG:

‘Funplex (Peaches Pleasure Seeker Remix)’ – The B-52’s

Funplex (EP)

They haven’t had a studio album out in who knows how many years but they still got it goin on... and we ALL know that The Peaches friggin' know how to underscore a party. The combination is an electronic nugget of sexy ridiculousness.

BEST ‘RIDING THE N/R/W MORNING RUSH’ SONG:

‘Tulips (Club Version)’ - Bloc Party

Little Thoughts (EP)

First off, Bloc Party is awesome. Saw them in concert this past fall and they are incredible. This is a great song for the morning because it’s mellow enough but it has a great tempo and bite to get you through all the pushing business men and Chinese women pretending to be pregnant so they can steal your seat. If you’re forced to stand, just bop around to the great beats in this song and clear out some room for you to breathe.

BEST ‘IT’S A SUNNY DAY AND I WANT TO SWISH DOWN 9^th AVENUE’ SONG:

‘Woodstock’ – Alice Smith

For Lovers, Dreamers & Me

It’s kind of rock, it’s kind of soul, it’s kind of pop, it’s kind of weird. It’s the perfect song to swish your tushy to as you stroll down 9^th Avenue drunk after brunch. You know you all do it.

BEST ‘TRYING TO IGNORE THE ANNOYING CHATTER AT THE AUDITION’ SONG:

‘Hirondelle - Benoît Pioulard

Précis

Don’t you hate it when you get to a big call in the city and everyone is screeching and talking about nonsense and everyone is everyone’s best friend and you just want to throw up and die? Yeah. This is a very mellow and ambient CD but not to the level of Sigur Ros which might make you comatose.

BEST ‘WASTING TIME IN __________ PARK AND IN A GOOD MOOD’ SONG:

‘I Feel It All (Britt From Spoon Remix)’ – Feist

I Feel It All (EP)

Great CD, good mixes, a nice remix of a classic song. Not too much done to it but enough to spice it up. Definitely a great song to mellow out to while people watching.

BEST ‘PRE-DRINKING AT THE APARTMENT’ SONG:

‘Impossible’ – Kanye West

Graduation

As much as you might hate mainstream music, you are a tard if you don’t think this CD is good. It’s like a chocolate Easter Basket of musical acumen. Great song, great sample, great beat, fun enough to get the night going but not so good that it ruins the song that plays around 1:00am.

BEST ‘ATTACK MUSIC WHEN TRYING TO GET THROUGH TIMES SQUARE AT 7:00PM’ MUSIC:

‘Boys Want To Be Her (Tommy Sunshine’s Brooklyn Fire Retouch)’ – Peaches

Boys Want To Be Her (EP)

This crap makes you want to pull out a knife and slit all those stupid-slow-walking-building-gawking-just-in-from-Idaho-fat-soccer-moms! Just kidding. Kind of. Not really.

BEST ‘I SAW MY EX-BOYFRIEND WITH HIS NEW BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE WE BROKE UP SO I WENT PARTYING TILL 6AM AND DROWNED MY ISSUES IN ALCOHOL THEN WOKE UP SIX HOURS LATER REGRETTING MY DECISIONS SO I TAKE THE TRAIN TO UNION SQUARE AND SIT IN BARNES AND NOBLE READING MAGAZINES ON THE FLOOR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE WHILE SUPPRESSING MY HANGOVER AND EVENTUALLY REALIZING ITS GOING TO BE OKAY BECAUSE ITS COLD AND THEY HAVE FRESH HOT APPLE CIDER IN THE FARMERS MARKET AND EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER IS ON AT 8’ SONG:

‘Transatlantique’ – Beirut

Elephant Gun (EP)

Does this honestly need an explanation?

- J. O'M.

New Buys!

Alas, the transformation of my room has begun. Out with the modpod and in with the rustic modern. The new lamp is from CB2 (59.95) and I must say it provides MUCH more light than I had expected. The chocolate duvet cover hails from West Elm and goes great with the reed pillow. I also love the new wine decanter from CB2 (14.95) that resembles some sort of lab glass and makes pouring wine a scientific drunken fun time;)

Stock up on your travel needs...

Flight001 down in the village is having a 20% OFF on all sale merchandise. Thus making that laptop bag uber cheap! They also have great dopp kits, wallets, grooming products, and an array of flight entertainment. Check it out before it takes off (literally.) Enter DeepSale08 at checkout to get the sexy discount.

Top Songs You Need On Your iPod Right Now:

*** My dear friend John O'Malley will be writing a weekly music column titled "Top Songs You Need On Your iPod Right Now". I have come to trust his music tastes indubitably...when O'Malley says "Jump to the music!!!!" you say "HOW HIGH?!!!!" -- enjoy the first post of many!!!:)

'Best For Last' - ADELE
Hometown Glory Single

Think if Jill Scott, Amy Winehouse and Beth Ditto had a love child. Whatever they are putting in the water in England seems to be working. First Amy Winehouse, then Duffy, now Adele. Keep it up.

'Wonder Dummied' - Brooke Waggoner
Fresh Pair Of Eyes

Brooke Waggoner is a diminished 7th chord away from being on the credits of Grey's Anatomy. If she has, then I'm out of it. Think Sara Barielles and Fiona Apple hanging out in Savannah, GA.

'Don't Ask' [Final Fantasy Remix] - Grizzly Bear
Horn of Plenty - The Remixes

I saw Grizzly Bear in concert in September and they were amazing. I saw Owen Pallett (of Final Fantasy) last year at a catering gig. Now Owen remixing Grizzly Bear is too much to take. If you like moody music and tender violins, get it now.

'Hundredaire' - Hey Willpower
P.D.A

If Mika was dating Justin Timberlake and they were having beers in the Lower East Side, it would sound like this. Great CD.

'The 1' - Janet Jackson feat. Missy Elliot
Discipline

I swear to god, Missy Elliot can't fail. Also check out 'Ching-A-Ling' from her upcoming new CD.

'Midnight Surprise' - Lightspeed Champion
Falling Off The Lavender Bridge

This guy supposedly was in a band called 'The Test Icicles'. That alone made me check him out. The CD is hit and miss but this song is dead on. Beautiful melodies and even a fun lyric interpretation during the chorus. Sounds to me like he says 'creeping down my balls'. Check out his (EP) which has remakes of 'The Flesh Failures' from Hair and 'Xanadu'.

'Paper Planes' [Scott B Remix] - M.I.A.
Kala

One of the best CD's from last year. This is a great remix of the song. If you are afraid of guns, I don't recommend it.

'Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games' - Of Montreal
The Sunlandic Twins

Imagine for a second that Scissor Sisters went straight, had Radiohead as their mentors and Animal Collective punched them in the head every so often. I think it sounds like this.

'Les Artistes' - Santogold
Creator/L.E.S Artistes - Single

Everyone is always looking for the next Amy Winehouse, etc. This girl is the next M.I.A. just not as worldly. It doesn't even sound like she gets out of Williamsburg or the Lower East Side all that much. But she still rocks and she can also be heard on Mark Ronsons 'Version' in 'Pretty Green'.

'Like Knives' - The Fashion
The Fashion [EP)

Randomly downloaded this (EP) on I-Tunes and kind of love it. You be the judge.

-- J.O'M.

Wacky Antics

Probably one of thee funniest things I have seen in a long time...