Ummm...there's a cucumber floating in my drink.

Beautiful people, high ceilings, pretentious house music...the sights and sounds of a New York City disco somewhere above Bowery and below 40th. Amidst a sea of crowded socialites there I stand, parched, awkward, drifting back and forth to the "fresh" sounds of a pay-by-hour D.J. jamming to the groove of his iTunes induced beat. The revolution is no where in sight. I say hi to a lanky girl standing by me. She points to my earbuds still in my ears and comments saying "Wow, you're really good at doing two things at once." I laugh quietly because actually I am doing three things because I am also charming her. A waitress passes next to me, "Excuse me...", she's gone. A busboy shuffles by, " Um sir I...", he disappears into the small cubby's created by the twists and turns of Gucci wrapped thighs. I stumble to the bar, all the while stepping on the feet of wafey white folk with shoe budgets larger than that of this party-obviously. A thin, pierced hipster stands waiting with her head cocked and eyes fixed in the permanent position of "rolled". " Can I have a...", she starts to pour. "Here", she says, "you'll like it", in a tone that suggests I WILL like it...or else. She hands me the glass and I nod, " Yeah, I was gonna order that anyway." With as much coolness as I can muster up, I peek down to see just exactly what concoction she concocted. A chilled pool of amber colored gin is glistening in the light and splashing down over the sides of the glass. I drink it all - down in one gulp. And then start to cough, violently, but it's not the booze - no, no my friends I can handle my booze- it's that I'm choking, actually choking on something...something round? Something hard? Daikon? Is this Daikon? A lone cucumber slice stares back at me from the murky mixture. So this is what New York has come to......fine all right, I'm in.

COCKTAIL #1
ingredients
One 3-inch piece of cucumber—peeled, seeded and diced, plus 1 cucumber wheel
1/2 ounce rose syrup (try the MONIN brand or just substitute simple syrup)
Ice
1 1/2 ounces gin
1/2 ounce fresh lime juice
1 ounce chilled club soda

directions
In a cocktail shaker, muddle the diced cucumber with the rose syrup. Add ice
and the gin and lime juice. Shake well; strain into an ice-filled highball
glass. Stir in the club soda; garnish with the cucumber wheel.


COCKTAIL #2
ingredients
One 2-inch piece of seedless cucumber, plus 1 cucumber slice for garnish
5 mint leaves
Ice
1 1/2 ounces gin
4 to 5 ounces chilled tonic water

directions
In a highball glass, muddle the piece of cucumber with the mint leaves. Fill
the glass with ice, add the gin and top with the tonic water. Stir gently
and garnish with the cucumber slice.